20150205

Being in Something I Thought I Never Would

I remember clearly. When we were clueless and naive. I once said.

"I would rather break up than have to be in a long distance relationship."

I remember he asked why. And I said.

"I don't believe in a long distance relationship. It won't work. I don't wanna break up with someone via skype or e-mail. It's silly."

I remember clearly he wasn't hundred percent agree. And yet we don't mind. It was just a trivia question for us anyway.



Until it wasn't.

I remember clearly the day I missed class because I chose to meet him. It was the day that we both knew he was gonna leave soon. We both knew what lies ahead us. We both knew.

We had lunch in Yoshinoya Blok M. He asked.

"So are we breaking up now?"

"I don't know." I said.

"I don't want to."

"I know."

"Then don't."

We finally decided to try.

At that day, we were fine.

At that very day, we were in the kind of relationship that worth trying.

Be the success story you’re looking for. Be the ones to survive your long distance relationship. Be the inspiration for others to follow.

I told myself.


One year and five months.

365+150 = 515 days.

Minus two freakin weeks.

515 - 14 = 501 days.

501 days of not seeing each other.


Long distance relationship is the cruelest form of love.

You lost someone. But you don't deserve to grief.
Without ever went through denial, anger, bargaining, or depression stage. You have to be in acceptance stage at a blink of an eye.

You try to convince yourself. But you are in doubt every day.

You smile when every little things, even one ugly corner of your office, remind you of him. But in the next two seconds you realized how pathetic it is.

You think he miss you like you do. But he may as well simply forget you.


501 days.

I trapped in something I thought I never would.