"Did you still wear hijab when you were there?" is the question people often asked me back home.
"Nggak diapa-apain teh?"
Many Indonesians assume that ALL Western people hate Muslims. So the idea of showing the symbol of Muslim in a foreign land sounds terrifying. Especially for those who aren't fortunate enough to ever travel outside Indonesia.
Under this condition, I feel responsible to ease the tension.
There are plenty of negative stories out there regarding being a Muslim in a foreign country. Truth be told, I've never experienced any single one.
All of my friends, neighbours, and also strangers are good to me. When I, a girl with Asian face wearing hijab, walked from the library to city center past midnight alone, guess what happened to her? Nothing. I went to O2 Academy, alone, singing my heart out in Lukas Graham's gig. Nothing happened. Went to friend's birthday party and only drink tap water. No one bats an eye. One time when I was going to have a milkshake, they're the one who immediately warned me that there's an alcohol in it. Apparently, no one care enough to hate me and do 'racist' things. They don't care if you are a Muslim or what. They respect my choices. And I respect theirs.
Back in July 2017, one of my friends did ask me some questions.
"Hi girl! How's it going? We haven't talked in a very very long time!! How's the dissertation process going for you? I'm sorry about last week, that I didn't have time to stop and talk to you. I had to go to Edinburgh and catch a certain train and I was running really late! Anyway, I have a question for you. I am starting to contribute to this blog of a friend of mine and I want to do a series that are called "10 questions you've always wanted to ask to [....]" For one of these editions, I want to ask women with a hijab. Yesterday I've already interviewed S**m*a (from Gaza, I think you know her) and she told me that It'd maybe good to interview somebody else as well, as every person has his/her own perspectives. Therefore I was wondering if you would maybe like to participate? I think the easiest would be to just send you the questions, but if you want we can also meet to do it. If you have doubts or feel uncomfortable about this no problem, you don't have to do it. The questions are quite blunt, but that's because I think many people in The Netherlands don't know why women wear a hijab and I want to create more awareness. So.. lemme know^ ^^"
You know what? I realised that we often shut ourselves away from them so they don't even have a chance to ask. I then participated in her project. It was more an eye-opening experience for me than it is for her.
"I warn you, they are quite blunt, but that's because it's called "10 questions you've always wanted to ask to [...] but didn't dare to ask. I hope it will increase awareness and understanding like I said before."
I convinced her that she can shoot me any questions and I won't be offended at all. So here is our online interview we had. I tried to present it in the most pleasant form to read.
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"Why do you wear a hijab?"
"Here is my attempt to answer your question. The reason of why I wear a hijab cannot be separated from the reason of why I choose to be a Muslim. Although it can be said that I become a Muslim because of the 'legacy' in the first place--like, because my parents are Muslims so that I accustomed to be one throughout my childhood)--I decided to 'stayed' Muslim because this particular way of life is the one that brings me peace at heart. In my logic, when I choose to be something, I cannot cherrypick the principles, can't I? And hijab is only the little part of being a Muslim that I try to comply. For disclaimer, I am far from being a truly 'good' Muslim as I am still learning how to be one."
"Do you feel like the hijab restricts you from doing anything? From your freedom? And when did you start wearing a hijab?"
"Luckily for me, I never feel like the hijab restricts me from doing anything in terms of daily activities. It does restrict me in a different way, however. I realise that wherever I go, I'm not only bringing my individual identity as Tita. Rather, I also bring the name of Islam in my shoulder. This related to the next question of when did I start wearing a hijab. I started wearing hijab in my eleventh grade (second year of high school). I remember in the tenth grade I uttered my decision to wear hijab to my older sister, she instead asked me the philosophical question. Why do I want to wear it? Do I realise what it entails? She was asking those questions not to mock or belittle my decision, she asked to make sure that I am aware that once I wear it, I will become a physical symbol of my religion. My act will no longer be only associated with me, but with Islam as a whole. She wanted me to be aware that I wear hijab beyond the reason of conformity nor fashion. Not because I blindly accepted what the society there ask me to do, but because I learn the Quran and came to my own conclusion that wearing it is my way to honour God out of my free choice. At first, I was in doubt, I cancelled my decision and keep on learning about it. The next year in my sophomore year, I made my mind and started to wear hijab to school and whenever I go. So yes, hijab does restrict me from doing the things that are the opposite of Islamic tenets, somehow.."
"What's the difference between Tita with and without the hijab?"
"The difference between Tita with and without the hijab would probably and should be nothing. I always remind myself the fact that hijab is only a piece of cloth after all. I should not overemphasise the magic of it. Now that I wear hijab because of my intention to comply with my religion and I feel convenient to wear it, other people might have a different reason or interpretation about their relationship with religion and hijab itself."
"How do you feel about Muslims who do not wear a hijab? Why don't men wear a hijab?"
"I don't really know the definitive answer since I never specifically feel anything until you ask this question. For me, hijab is part of my religious journey to become a better Muslim. I have no right to judge other Muslims who don't wear a hijab since I never truly know their story and intention behind the outside layer. Physical things must not triumph over substantial things, beyond the surface. And from what I understand, Muslim men also wear hijab. The term hijab itself simply means 'cover' and modesty. To dress modestly and cover private areas. The thing is, the Quran defines the private area of women and men differently which I think I can agree on."
"Who gets to see you without the hijab?"
"My families and other women get to see me without the hijab. Actually, there are exact verses in the Quran and hadith that determine who gets to see Muslim women without the hijab. But as I told you that I am far from being an ideal Muslim, not proud of it tho, I still made many mistakes. Sometimes when I was at home, I let other people see me without the proper hijab just because I'm too lazy to change. See? Who am I to judge other Muslims while I still got tons of things to be improved myself."
"How do you look without the hijab?"
"More chubby, I guess" *laugh* "I don't know. I don't feel any significant difference."
"How do you feel about Western people who don't wear a hijab?"
"I feel that they're entitled to wear whatever they want to. The thing is, I love to put myself in other people's shoes. If I was born in a western country, raised with a different family, undergone different socialisation throughout my childhood and teenage years, I would become exactly the same as them, wouldn't I? My choices, knowledge, and faith might be different with what I have now. People live their life based on what they do comprehend. Now I choose to learn more about Islam and try to comply its principle because I already feel at peace and found a true happiness in it. I mean, what most people seek in life, peace at heart, I feel like I already have it. But who knows if I would change my mind in the future because of such and such things--though I hope not--cause I'm only human after all.."
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I took a deep breath once I answered all the questions. No one in my life ever has the audacity to ask the things that I take for granted. And I thanked her.
Almost one year later, the interview ended up nowhere because she caught up in many things (you know, life) and I also forgot if I ever answered this kind of things. Just recently, triggered by the question on top of this post, I asked her if it's okay to put this interview on my blog instead.
I conclude that the prejudice between Indonesian Muslims and Western people mushroomed because we simply don't know each other well. In fact, there are so many misunderstanding in life that could be solved by asking questions and have a normal conversation about it.
Her questions are my epiphany. Instead of being so afraid of anything we don't have actual experiences yet, or being so negative about anything we don't really know, what about asking questions to a real people? And instead of getting offended if anyone asks you one, answer.
Have a conversation.
Approach the unknown.
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